When my partner of 38 years died of cancer, I was determined to bypass the for-profit funeral home option which has largely taken over how we deal with the loss of a loved one in our culture.  It took significant time and energy to figure out all the details, submit the necessary forms, and get the necessary permits. But, it turned out to be a satisfying endeavor, and one which was more in line with my and my partner’s value system. When I heard about Death Cafes I realized they could be a forum for sharing experiences such as mine, and a comfortable place to engage in conversations about end of life issues that are so often avoided. The more involved I’ve gotten, the more excited I’ve become about compiling and sharing resources as broadly as possible - and the NEK Death Care Community seems to be a great way to do this.

From day one we are all headed in the same direction- toward dying. Death seems to be a difficult subject for many to talk about and I hope to be a part of a growing movement to bring death literacy to our community. Having conversations about death and dying is a way we can live more fully and die prepared. I've been attending many Death Cafés, reading books, listening to podcasts, watching movies to find understanding, relieve fear and feel a sense of belonging on this path we call life. I enjoy gardening, walking my dogs, making pots, spending time with family and friends and having conversations. Joining this wonderful group of people to bring resources and clarity to the meaning of the here and now and assist in preparation for the end of life is a wonderful way to share the journey together. 

Over the past 15 years I discovered how deeply meaningful it was for me to help my mother, and later my mother-in-law, achieve their end-of-life goals and die with dignity, on their own terms. The power of these experiences led me to UVM’s End of Life Doula program. That course, and my previous learning about Facilitating by Heart, mental health counseling, and Emotional CPR, led me to feel called to “spread the love” in community with others. My specific interests within the wide range of hats death doulas can wear are in facilitating memory or legacy writing projects with people, and care coordination to help them die where they want to die. My personal favorite activities are gardening, writing, walking and canoeing.

After over 25 years of teaching and performing music, I realized that some of the most meaningful moments in my life have been making music at the bedside of those who are dying. I decided to become certified as an End-of-Life Doula through University of Vermont so that I could weave music, meditation and Reiki into my doula work as a way to enrich people's lives until the very last moment. I am also passionate about death literacy and so have drawn upon my background as a  workshop facilitator to now offer topics including grief, compassion, music and other death literacy subjects. I love supporting ALL people on their life’s journey.  It is my hope that the NEK Death Care Community can help to normalize and de-stigmatize conversations around death and dying.

Throughout my twenty-five year career providing social and human services, empathy with others has
been at the forefront of my work with clients, a trait that has carried through in my interactions and
relationships with others with whom I come in contact. Believing everyone has a right to live fully and
maintain control of their lives to the greatest extent, I recently followed my long-held retirement wish
to become certified as an End of Life Doula and an active visiting volunteer with Orleans Essex VNA
and Hospice. I serve in several initiatives throughout our community as well – always with the
intention of making life – and the end of life – softer for others and ever with respect for people with
cultural beliefs and practices different from my own, and for those who are most vulnerable and
unable to advocate for themselves.